My niece Fluffu and I like to pretend we are on a horse, giddiyapping our way to London. The past year has put a wedge in the doors of opportunities that would’ve been wide open for me by now. But nothing can stop our unyielding minds. Recently, I’ve been pretending more than I have been living in the moment. I shift away to Hogwarts, to Beauty and the Beasts castle in the french woodlands, to Green Gables where I often meet a funny little red head named Anne.
Having a toddler or a child around can often remind ourselves of the inner child that we’ve lost touch with. Growing up, most of my friends were imaginary. I did have friends in real life for sure, but I preferred the imaginary ones. My niece has an imaginary friend too. They keep changing genders, like me. I love it.
Now that I’ve moved to Illam, I pretend everyday that I’m on a new adventure. The trees and the birds are my long lost friends who I used to talk to as a child. Growing up, I never had many cousins of my age at Illam. It was mostly just me and Gopalan, the family pet. And of course, the trees. Sometimes I stand next to them, touch their bark and try to know what they’ve known all their lives. I wonder how long it would take to be as wise and rooted as they are. In my next life, I have often wanted to come back as a tree, but considering the state of the earth right now, I’m not so sure if being a tree is the best. Maybe I’ll be a tree in the past. I know that time isn’t linear anyway. But right now, everyone’s karma is muddled up. Nobody says what they mean or mean what they say, myself included. The world is chaos.
But I still pretend, I put on some Disney music and put on my prettiest dress and pretend that I’m Princess Cordelia, a friend and family to every living being around me. Be it bugs, little lizards with fiery red tails, squirrels with white stripes on their back, bumblebees that buzz near me, butterflies that sit on my dress, thinking it’s a flower. I love this world when I am completely away from it. I love this world when I am fully immersed in it like a child. I love this world, nevertheless.
